i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
