that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
jump out the window naked night went bad
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
