So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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