He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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