Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
