Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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