she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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