operation harelip BJ is a go
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
