in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
