I'm drive I can fine osifer
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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