i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
