I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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