My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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