But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
