A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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