I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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