The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
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