$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
