Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
