There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
