She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
This is the high leading the old right now
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
