I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
