Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
