why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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