I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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