How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
