I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Farmville is her only friend.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
