um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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