I want to walk on stilts...naked
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
