:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
