just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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