You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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