I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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