I accidentally had phone sex last night
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
