Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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