What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
