he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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