what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
