how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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