what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
