Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
