It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize