There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
wow bdsm is so cute
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
