Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
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