So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
