SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
