I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Just cropdusted the office
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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