He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
