hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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