help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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