Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
